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TOPIC:  Tail wagging…

Posted: 10/11/2010, 7:52 p.m. EDTDoggie

 

I wag my tail quite a lot. I do it mostly to let people know I am a friendly dawg.  Dogs who don't wag their tails can be a little scary.  Some dogs have had their tails cut off so they really can't show they are friendly.  Who the heck thought up the idea of chopping off dog tails!!?  Of course if I had my tail cut off I don’t think I would be as friendly either.  Sometimes humans are really messed up.  Cutting tails off dogs should move you right to the head of the psychopath examination line.


TOPIC:  Monday

Posted: 11/11/2010, 5:35 a.m. EDT

 

It is yet another Monday.  I am still on my campaign to eliminate Monday's and roll it into the weekend.  The way I see it you need Monday to relax after having worked your butt off over the weekend on some "project."  Better yet, eliminate the day altogether for an entire year and see how it works out.  I could deal with a 313 day year.  But then you would just get older quicker.  Bummer.

 

Scotti

Dawg Breath

Question- How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans, and Southerners?

 

Pose the following question:  You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.  Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges.

 

You are carrying a Glock 40, and you are an expert shot.  You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.  What do you do?Gun Guy

 

---------------------------

Democrat Answer:

--------------------------

 

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!  Does the man look poor or oppressed?  Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?  Could we run away?  What does my wife think?  What about the kids?  Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?  What does the law say about this situation?  Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it?  Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?  Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?  Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?  If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?  Should I call 9-1-1?  Why is this street so deserted?  We need to raise taxes, have a "Paint and Weed Day" and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.  This is all so confusing!  I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

 

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Republican Answer:

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BANG!

 

--------------------------------

Southerner's Answer:

--------------------------------

 

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click....(sounds of reloading).  BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.  Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy!  Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Black Talon Hollow Points??

 

Fun Facts To Know And Yell

... World Population ...

 

There is no leading cause of death for people who live past 100.

Granny

Birthday
Martie Maguire

Martie Maguire

is 42 today

October 12, 1969

 

American musician, songwriter, vocalist and record producer

Founding member of the country music group Dixie Chicks

 
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