Saturday, February 20th, 2016 is   

Love Your Pet Day

 

 

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TOPIC:  Pets …

Posted:  2/20/2016, 458 a.m. ET

 

I’ve had a number of pets over the years, including various colors of tennis balls, sock monkeys, shoes, and baseball mitts.  I suppose my favorite though is my blue sock monkey.  I call him “Blue,” which seems to fit him really well.  We have deep conversations on many topics.  I suppose my favorite is when we talk about gravitational waves and how they bend space-time.  Where we’re not doing that I like to chew on his head.

Selling Lettuce ...

 

There was a boy who worked in the produce section of the market.  A man came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce.  The boy told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce, but the man replied that he did not need a whole head, but only a half head.

 

The shop assistant said he would go ask his manager about the matter.

 

He said to his manager, “There’s some jerk out there who wants to buy only a half a head of lettuce.”  As he was finishing saying this, he turned around to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, “and this gentleman wants to buy the other half.”  The manager okayed the deal and the man went on his way.

 

Later the manager called on the boy and said, “You almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of it.  You think on your feet, and we like that around here.  Where are you from son?”

 

The boy replied, “Minnesota sir.”

 

“Oh really?  Why did you leave Minnesota” asked the manager.

 

The boy replied, “They’re all just whores and hockey players up there.”

 

“Really?,” replied the manager, “My wife is from Minnesota!!”

 

And the boy replied, “No kidding!  What team did she play for?” .

 

...Being Average  ...

 

The average person laughs 13 times a day!

 

 

Dave Bob Vilepickle
is 29 today
February 20, 1987

Website Jedi Master
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