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Oatmeal Muffin Day

Oatmeal Muffin 

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TOPIC:  Gearing Up

Posted: 10/19/2014, 4:34 a.m. EDT


So I've been gearing up for the annual leaf removal program.  Dad says it's important to get in shape so we can strap on the old backpack blower and fill leaf bags.  I'm not sure I understand the whole leaf bag concept, but I believe it has to do with sales at your friendly local Walmart and Meijer stores.  Both stores boast about their low prices.  In fact I hear commercials about "Lomeijer" prices almost every day.  This year it looks like they are collecting our bags of leaves to sell at low prices in their stores.  What will they think of next?


Taste of Heaven ...


This 85-year-old couple, having been married almost 60 years, die tragically in a car crash.  They have been in good health the last ten years, mainly due to the wife's nearly neurotic interest in health food.


When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen and master bath suite, complete with Jacuzzi.  As they "oohed and aahed' the old man asked St. Peter how much all this was going to cost.


"It's free," St. Peter replied, "Remember, this is Heaven."


Next they went out back to see the championship golf course.  They would have golfing privileges every day, and each week the course changed to a new one representing the great golf courses on Earth.Pie


The old man asked, "What are the green fees?"


"This is Heaven," St. Peter replied. "You play for free."


Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the cuisines of the world laid out.


"How much to eat?" asked the old man.


"Don't you understand yet?" St. Peter asked.  "This is Heaven. It's free!"


"Well, where are the low-fat and low-cholesterol foods?" the old man asked timidly.


"That's the best part ... you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and never get fat and you never get sick.  This is Heaven."


The old man looked at his wife and said, "You and your #@!%&~oatmeal muffins.  I could have been here ten years ago!"


... Eggs ...


Many artificial color additives are prohibited by law,

so farmers add marigold petals to their chicken feed as a natural color enhancer

to give their egg yolks that sunny, yellow hue




O Crap


Hunter Haley King
is 21 today
October 19, 1993

American Actress
"Adriana Masters" on "Hollywood Heights"
"Summer Newman" on "The Young and the Restless"

Hunter Haley King




"No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the cat did it"