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TOPIC:  Fire Hydrants

Posted: 4/26/2014, 4:55 a.m. EDT

 

I'm not sure what it is about fire hydrants but every time I pass by one I get this urge to pee.  Of course I have to pee directly on the hydrant because it would be foolish to waste it by going on the ground.  Like dad always says "you gotta mark your territory."

 

I seem to especially like snuggling up to East Jordan Iron Works hydrants because they're just so darn dawg friendly. 

 

 

Car Accident - Actual Excuses ...

 

The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

 

As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before.  I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.

 

The telephone pole was approaching fast.  I was attempting to swerve out of its path when it struck my front end.

 

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle and vanished.

 

I thought my window was down but found it was up when I put my hand through it.

 

To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.

 

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

 

The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran him over.

 

I saw the slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.

 

 

... Today is Also ...

 

Audubon Day

 

Bob Wills Day

Do Dah Day (Pasadena)

Eeyore's Birthday Day

 

Hug An Australian Day

International Marconi Day

 

National Dance Day

National Go Birding Day

National Help A Horse Day

 

National Herb Day

National Kids and Pets Day

 

National Rebuilding Day

National Pretzel Day

Penguin Day

 

Richter Scale Day

Save The Frogs Day

 

Sense of Smell Day

World Day for Animals in Laboratories

 

World Healing Day

World Intellectual Property Day

World Tai Chi & Qigong Day

 

 

 

Jordana Brewster
is 34 today
April 26, 1980

Brazilian-American Actress
"Nikki Munson" in "As the World Turns,"
The Faculty, The Fast and the Furious,
D.E.B.S., Nearing Grace,
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning

"Elena Ramos" in the series "Dallas"

Jordana Brewster 
 

Lies 

Lies!

 

"Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but
deep down I know that's not true,
some smaller countries are neutral"